I was asked by one of my online teachers, Christine, from Abbey of the Arts, to consider a word to dedicate to this year. A word that might embrace a feeling I have, or need to deepen in. A word that might challenge me, or call me out to me to pay attention to. A word that gives play and intention to my daily practice of breathing and Being Here Now.
For me, it was about what calls to me, to ‘own’ in my daily journey, to remind me of what will bring me ‘home’. Tho’ I do believe I am already ‘home’ at the deepest heart of myself, I don’t always have a sense of that in the busy of the world around and within me. Living is such a distraction and all of you are so interesting.
I chose the word, ‘Stillness’. Maybe it chose me. What I can tell you about the feeling that rises for me when I think of stillness, is how hard it feels to embrace it. I have lots of wonderful idea about what ‘stillness’ is and how important it feels to be in my life. I can think myself in and out of stillness very adeptly.
Winter stillness goes like this…. It looks like an entire forest ladened with snowy branches and hardly a track on the snow covered carpet. It tastes like a lick laid down on the heavy snow that bears down a pine branch. It feels like me laying down on that carpet of a gagillion snowflakes and making an angel in slow motion. All of it rests in my thinking about it, imagining what that quiet ‘stillness’ might be.
Can I be still, undisturbed, calm, tranquil? Good Lord, why did I pick ‘stillness’? Choice can be changed. I tried, sort of. Some stubborn, tenacious part of me refused to make another choice. Stick with that word, ‘stillness’, see where it lead you. See what comes up for 365 days of absorbing what it is or isn’t. Maybe, find the stillness that connects me deeper to my spiritual journey. Ok Ok… Alright already. Stillness it is.
Stillness calls for my stewardship
Tells of times once remembered
In the ever beat of my heart’s desire
Longing to live in peaceful countenance
Listening deep beyond the idle chatter
Nearing my quest for home remembering
Ever present when I give myself to quietude
Simple in the ever presence of breathing
Stillness gives it watch over me