18th day, NaPoWriMo
I thought I might not ‘go’ to the tragedy of Boston, of Texas, the spots of angry fire, and fear, with all the pain of it, the anguish of it. My inclination is to seek some joy past the horror and grief. To not join in with the fear, to not feed it the food of my angry/sad feelings and still feel deeply, passionately, without avoidance. Fear is not what I wish to feed. And feelings are not for my evasion; necessary to have so they don’t build in my body and create a whole other kind of pain. And in this mix of emotions stirred by personal and world events, I invite grace and gratitude, joy and peace, into the cauldron, while I stir in love and the spirit of Oneness that I believe we all share in.
I will not feed the fear
In the having of feelings
that get drench and expose
burned and seared with the
incomprehensible
Comprehending the allowance
of loss as it fills me
letting in what will tear
away in that vast salty
ocean of endings
Grateful for the salty
bouncy in the fear of
drowning rising to the
surface a buoy bobbing
seeking a safe shore
I will not feed the fear
in the having of feelings
that need to be felt
in the vulnerability
of living love expressively
Of rising to an angry
cause to pray away
unfathomable acts of
violence that feed the
fear and fearful
I will have my
sorrow
I will have my
rage
I will have my
Joy
I will have my
Peace
I will have all of me
And
Today
I will feed forgiveness
