There’s no lose in the let go, if chaos finds another body to live in.
It’s the chaos that tumbles what isn’t anymore into this vat of never full.
When the not enough swills on your lonely blood as an intruder does
from so very long ago that you forever feel tainted no matter how
full of self you seek to find yourself cultivating.
I don’t know about you, when the fight to keep your cup of goodness
as full as possible, and Sir Chaos and his confidante, Lady Not Enough
invite you to drink from their chalice in ‘oh just have a little bit of me”.
And you’re so thirsty for the ‘story’ you got going on about ‘only if’ and
‘maybe if I just…” and “I could have done it like…” that a little bit
of their something seems welcome as they count on your self betrayal.
Don’t think the 3rd law of thermodynamics isn’t waiting for you
to tumble out of paradise. Or maybe it’s a tumble back into Paradise.
We’ve had it all wrong from the get go. It’s a ploy to embrace these
two lovebirds as one of our own. Get to know them like family members.
Love them in the ‘no matter what’ of their happy battering of our senses.
Smother them with love songs and cuddle and rock them like children.
Shift their points of power from having it over us, to that embrace of
owning the chaos and the not enough as swirling bits of our own
joyful madness, that now we have more than enough of and share equally
in the power where there is no struggle. Could it be? Did I write myself
into a warm embrace with what I gave my power away to? And now
I’m falling in love with Chaos and Lady Not Enough as I give my self
over to them like I gave my body over to every other damn thing that
likened to steal my goodness away as I make my way out of here?
I feel better now sharing the power plays and ill determined self critiques
that seem indigenous to negative thinking. Loving the unlovable.
It is now clear to me that The Hokey Pokey is what’s it’s all about…
“Put your whole self in.
You put your whole self out
You put your whole self in
And you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Pokey
and you turn yourself around
THAT’s what it’s ALL about.”