Monthly Archives: December 2013

A New Year’s Prayer


 

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Make this not the End of a year

Rather invite each new day

A moment to raise up and

Sound out a new beginning.

 

These are the days and

You are the ONe.

Not a corner of the Universe

Is without a place to celebrate

 

Cozy your heart around

What gives you joy.

Be renewed in loves call

There are no wasted moments

 

Light knows her darkness

Kindness waits for you to notice her

Peace is in your breath

Love has never left you

 

Make this not the End of the Year

Make this the beginning of a moment

And another moment, and another

filled with the gratitude of love’s ease

 

Make no doubt that you are Loved

There is no ending to the everlasting

 

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Filed under BE HERE NOW, GRATITUDE, LOVE, MAGICAL THINKING, PEACE, WINTER.

Old Journals and the-way-back-then in the Now


I remember the decades ago of writing every bit of angst that drooled out of me, in journals that I have long since lost.  There is a part of me that would like to see what held me to all that youthful drive and desire of those yesterdays in the way back then.   Handwritten reams of strung together words that laid my life out on paper.  Back then, I didn’t share my journals.  Private, only for my eyes to reread, if I would have ever bothered to.  It was in the process of letting it all roll out on paper, getting IT all out of me in a spew of feelings that found writing a way in and a way out of my life.

This Year finds it closure soon.  A time that reminisce finds a place to linger and gives rise to what has gone before.  Much of that for me, will lay in the corners of what has been written for my eyes only, in the un-shareable stories that I will likely not read ever again;  Tho’ I will ruminate in the heart of them; in the birth, death, life of them, in the joy, sorrow, laughter and tears of them.

stackofjournals

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There is no new year only new moments

pressed together one after the other after the other

In moon shine and sunlight, of darkness in the

Light of  all that has been seen as it rolls through and

around in the cycle of life, in the living of the moment

 

Gone are ‘The Days’ left for the stories to be told

In the history of what was and now is not

What was may have its linger only to hold

The past in some compartment stowaway

For what reason can only be told by the storyteller

 

Oh how well we hold to the story of a life as it’s been

And a life that might be to forget what IS

In each moment that gives of it’s self again and again

And all that Sunlight and Moonshine, and days

And more days to live this life till the breath of us leaves

And what matters on that last exhale is Love and peace

 

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Filed under BE HERE NOW, BIRTH. LIFE. DEATH, DEATH, MEMORY, michigan, the craft of writing.

THe Blue Jay… a phantom, pantoum.


BlueJay-2

In the still bitter chill of the winter white

Busy is the Blue Jay  in his taking

Naked limb to naked limb dancing

Squawking for the spare of this season’s bounty

Busy is the Blue Jay in his taking

Watching his big want for so little

Squawking for the spare of this season’s bounty

And the Lake gives her flat stare to the grey sky

Watching his big want for so little

In the day rise of cold grey austerity

And the Lake gives her flat start to the grey sky

The only flick of blue is this bird flitting

In the day rise of cold grey austerity

A blue bird relentless in his scavenge

The only flick of blue is this bird flitting

Perched am I watching from frosted window

A blue bird relentless in his scavenge

Naked limb to limb dancing

Perched am I watching from frosted window

In the still bitter chill of winter white

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Filed under BE HERE NOW, dease lake, michigan, pantoum, WINTER.

The end of New Year’s Resolutions in the BE HERE NOW…


winter morning, at The Dease

The New Year approaches, in the traditional sense, on this coming eve of 31 Dec. Contemplation of resolutions, imaginings of the coming year, hopes and dreams, shifts and changes, the maybe’s and the might bes;  Lots of pondering is given to how ‘Resolution’ might feel/look/be experienced in the coming year.

RE-Solution.  A solution that is started again.  The ‘re’ gives the word that invitation.  What wasn’t solved previously, might now be ’re’instated and given another try. Right?   Let’s resolve what might not have been stated right the first time.

RE-solve, consider how you might make a better solution for the coming year, or solve what might not have been solved these last days or months from the previous try.  Start all over again at the beginning of this year 2014, and see if a better solution might make for a better outcome this time, maybe solve what has yet to be solved.

I’m not big on ‘resolutions’.  Not for not wanting to have the stick-to-itiveness for every previous resolve I have put my intention toward no matter what time of year I made them.  NO, it’s what I do to myself when I fail.  Cause, at some point, for me, I fail.  I might not even fail very much, if I made the resolution around drinking more water every day, or something I’m likely to do every day anyway.  Nope, for me it’s those resolves that I declare nearly every day, forget just the beginning of the year: EAt right, exercise  more, slow down, find more patience, write everyday,  help save the planet, be the most wonderful person in the whole entire wide world.

I hit the ground running like a I’m gonna stick to the statements I feel resolute to, and I declared would be what I’m going to do for the year, Hell, for my whole life and sooner than later I get lax, “Oh not today”, or “ I’ll get to that later” or, “I’m sick of being patient for that shit”.  You get my drift here.   It’s all so set up for failure this New Year’s Resolution business.  Who started it anyway?  Why only at the New Year?

For those of you that either know me, or for those of you that have read my previous ramblings, you have probably noticed I have an obsession for the ‘Be Here NOw’.  So, resolutions are for sure destined to snare the Be here now right out of you.  All that projection of what will be in the future, all that ‘stuff’ you’re going to do starting in the next few days, that you’ve been NOT doing, or doing with little enthusiasm, and you Still feel the ‘ought, shoulda,’ continuums of failure to make them your new, self imposed habits.  Doomed.  You ARE pulled right out of the Now, busy worrying about what is to come in your new fervor to be resolute on some future something-or-other.

Why not make it easy on yourself and take it all moment to moment, in lil’ iddybitty steps?  What’s with the grandiose declarations that are doomed for failure that you are contemplating this very moment that I’m writing this rant?  What about right here, right NOw, you release all that imposition of resolutions and declare this year, a year of BE HERE NOW.  Free yourself up to make each moment what ever that moment offers.  Which isn’t to say that you don’t make plans, or you don’t initiate intentions, or you don’t let that creative, active mind of yours have a free for all.  NO, it simply means (IMO) that you let go of searching the past for what did or didn’t work, (that’s done) ease out of what the future might or might not be, (cause you really have NO frickin’ idea) and let the pleasure of settling into each moment with joy and innocent wisdom.  Drink from the cup of NOw and Be.  Breathe into this moment, and let what you know guide you.  Resolve some goodness in this very moment.  Join me in making each moment a good one, cause you can.  Tomorrow is a mystery, and a few moments ago is done.

In this moment.  I love.  I feel the gentle expanse of my heart for my family and loved ones.  I miss my dog.  The winter white and chill is glorious as the day rises.  I feel safe and warm, and loved.  My ‘NOw’ is an attitude and heart of letting in as much goodness as I can.  I get to choose how I embrace each moment. even if the moments have struggle and strife, even despair, I get to choose my emotional relationship to them.  Right now… mmmmm… love, coffee, and winter white at The Dease.

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Filed under BE HERE NOW, dease lake, JOY, LOVE, MAGICAL THINKING, michigan

“She’s tossing ice cubes in my fire”


“Cold wicked breath snaking around the house looking for a place to squeeze in and whisper something chilling to my soul. She takes me off guard sometimes, but I wait and fend her off with some good old fashioned heat saved up from my soul stoking it’s self. She is tossing Ice cubes in my fire.  She’s got nothing.”   Lynn Antisdel.

Thanks Lynn.  Love this.  These are such provocative images.  I am compelled to steal a line or two: make some piece of these images mine.

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Breath to me is a spiritual practice.  I don’t think of it as wicked. Tho, when I read these lines of Lynn’s, I get it.

I am provoked to imagine whose breath that might be that would sabotage the soul’s warmth. Where did come from?  And really, was it my breath that exhaled a moment of fear and insecurity that tried “to squeeze in and whisper something chilling to my soul”?  Taking me off guard from my center of love and joy.  From the center heat of me that knows the illusion and illusiveness of my fearful saboteurs that I let sneak in with an inhale and an extended exhale.

And it is within my practice of conscious breathing into each  moment that I give awareness to my ‘center’,  my soul, that place of peace and well being that reminds me the moment is exactly right and I am perfect in it.  Letting ‘some good old fashioned heat saved up from my soul stoking it’s self” to remember that.   Giving Care to my Soul with my breath and the heat of each moment being filled with creation and possibilities.

And here is where I will ‘steal’ the last lines.

 

She is tossing ice cubes in my fire

Melting herself into a puddle

Having given her breath away

Her remains goes back to the sea

To swim again deep and try again

To find her breath she will need to surface

Raise her head and heart to the Sun

Tread the water’s till she finds her wholeness

Cause right now… ‘she’s got nothing’.

She forgot she has everything.

 

 

 

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Filed under ANN ARBOR, BE HERE NOW, HEALTH AND WELLBEING, MAGICAL THINKING, SPIRITUAL

SPACIOUSNESS … a tanka


CELESTIAL PAINTING

There is room to shift

Imagine your spaciousness

A vast Universe

Breathe it All in, fill yourself

Change the world one breath at a time

 

A vast Universe

An Infinite mystery

There is room to shift

Change the world one breath at a time

Breathe it All in, fill yourself

 

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Filed under ASCENSION, BE HERE NOW, TANKA

WINTER SUN


Morning… watching the sun rise this cold morning.  Thinking about how the Sun is tease, and how I am fooled again and again into thinking that it just might be warmer out there than I think.  HAaaa.

frost on the car window

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Winter Sun gives freeze to the first inhale

Crystalline stalactites wait for the body heat

to exhale a melt down

All that golden light filling the blue

teases at the illusion of warmth

Layer upon layer can’t keep the breath’s vapor

in halo away

It’s a smoky fog that leads the way

 

What sense is the Sun if he gives no warmth?

The shiver and shake longs for basking

To fill up on heat that lays false to Winter chill

Stealing at your mind what one season gives

that the other withholds

Green leaves to naked austerity still

pouring on the Golden light like it matters.

 

And we hunger for the Sun when Winter comes

taking the starving away for what was yesterday’s

Summer’s gifts, gone for the deep chill in rest

In this place where all seasons have their ways.

Hope that harvest has gathered enough for the keeping

 

And you step outside to feel that Great Golden Orb

with one single inhale that gives freeze to your breath

That one celebrated gasp, a frozen moment

Releasing an exhale with a shudder and quake

Fooled again by that Winter Sun.

 

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Filed under BE HERE NOW, NATURE, WINTER.