Monthly Archives: January 2014

I’m gonna start today.


bodypaint grily1 chippin 2

I’m gonna start today

my body needs me to

 

Little steps. Little steps

Ease in just so and slow

 

Images of languid stretches

down to the Earth up to the heavens

 

A prayer, a meditation,

a gentle I forget to give myself

 

Re-story the limitations I gave

They give no goodness

 

Give back strength to this body

To thrive in wholeness

 

All of me needs to embrace

All of me

 

Give to the pain what it needs

Loving gentleness in movement

 

Move this old girl.

Stretch her out

make her strong again

I’m gonna start today.

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Filed under BE HERE NOW, JOY

RESISTANCE


A prompt for the day from Laurie Wagner’s 27 days.  It is from an interview of hers with her friend Lisa Jones, author of the award-winning novel, Broken: a Love Story, a tale about Stanford Addison, a Northern Arapaho horse whisperer on the Wind River reservation in Wyoming.

Lisa speaks to the resistance that happens in the writing process.  As I imagine/see it, it can be resistance to any creative discipline.  It can simply be about being resistant to anything you desire to accomplish.  That resistance that happens when you wish to get something done, and avoidance rises up and chokes away any hope of getting to what you were on the edge of doing.

I let the feeling/thoughts of my own resistance sit with me this morning to see what words might roll and flow out of me.  This is what happened.

path in the clouds

A Pantoum about Resistance

 

I went to bed and woke up with resistance

There is little wonder of its insidious creep

It gets too much emotional time out of me

It is a fear that keeps me from the best of myself

 

There is little wonder of its insidious creep

The stop and go of resistance catches the breath

It is a fear that keeps me from the best of myself

There is an irresistible negative self fulfillment in it

 

The stop and go of resistance catches the breath

The very act of resisting it claws away at me

There is an irresistible negative self fulfillment in it

The only way out is letting it in in the do it anyway

 

The very act of resisting it claws away at me

I’m bleeding from the lash of resisting it or not

The only way out is letting it in in the do it anyway

The day can have me doing it scared or not

 

I’m bleeding from the lash of resisting it or not

It gets too much emotional time out of me

The day can have me doing it scared or not

I went to bed and woke up with resistance

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under ANN ARBOR, BE HERE NOW, BIRTH. LIFE. DEATH, EARTH CHANGES, EYES WIDE OPEN, pantoum, WRITER'S PROMPT

Full of Self in the repeat.


Prompt for today #4… Self trust: curiosity that leads to making the channel open to receive, to listen deep, to pay attention to your own creative voice and process.  To move with spaciousness that allows it all to come together in the journey of being Full Of Self.

 

Being Full of Self is not that selfish kind of negative thinking  that comes from a lack of worth, low self esteem, and the feeling that you aren’t enough as you are.

Being Full-of-Self holds and honors the fullness of your heart, and spirit to All that you can be, All that is the components of the wonder that is you, in the ever present Universe of creation unfolding as it always will.  You unfolding as you will, and as you allow that creative force to move with and through you, you find the joy and pleasure of seeing/feeling the moments of living as a caress to your soul.

hair as milky way“There was a little girl who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead.  And when she was good, she was very very good.”…  And when she was bad she was perfect..

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The re-peat.  Saying it from the “I”.   Letting ‘the preach’ be felt within me. Can you feel the difference?

Being Full of Self is not that selfish kind of negative thinking that comes from a lack of worth, and low self esteem, and the feeling that I AM not enough as I am.

Being Full of Self holds, and honor the fullness of MY heart, and spirit to All that I can be, To All that is the components of the wonder of Me, in the ever present Universe of creation unfolding as it always will.  I am unfolding as I will, as I allow that creative force to move with and through me, I find the joy and pleasure of seeing/feeling the moment of living as a caress to MY soul.

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Filed under EYES WIDE OPEN, GRATITUDE, MAGICAL THINKING, SPIRITUAL

“I think I’m gonna Scream”.. prompt 3


prompt for today…

Describe a moment when the dull drone of a conversation is completely consumed by the utter boring chatter about something you not only don’t care about AT All, and you really aren’t even sure what they are talking about about, and you think perhaps you might just scream. 

As prompts go for me, I’m not even sure that I write about the prompt, only that I’m moved by some piece of it that rises up and needs me to write it.  This is what came up for me. And BTW, this Is fiction.  Incase you were wondering.

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Dig in to the compassion bag

Pull up the open heart

Flip on a smile like a Light

in this dark cave of endless

self pity that might glimmer

a little joy in the drone of his

20 years of unrequited grieving.

 

Look at the faded smile of her

gaunt face surrounded by

three sad little children in a cluster

huddled around her. A wallet album

of two decades ago showing the faded

journey of her slow relentless dying

Every picture turns a crush of the heart

 

It’s not like I don’t care  in that way

that humans care when suffering

of the heart shrouds another human

in the presence of a moments despair.

And the on and on of grief tugs hard

at the heart in hopes of a sweet fix

for a fellow traveler.

 

There is no pretend that there is want

for an end to this story, these pictures,

this old ramble that finds no silence

except mine in the sitting here listening

over coffee hoping this unbearable moment

will end soon before the rude in me rises

in a quiet inner scream with interruption

and Mr. Sad and Pathetic

again, gets no second date

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under BE HERE NOW, BIRTH. LIFE. DEATH, WRITER'S PROMPT

‘Outta Here’ prompt #1


I joined a little group for 27 days of prompts.  This is the first prompt (in green) .  The poem below it is where it all took me.  It isn’t where I thought it would go and I let be.

“  Outta Here…

You know that feeling when you’re driving and you realize, My god, if I keep going, if I pass my own exit, I’ll be in Mexico by morning. They won’t even know I’m gone – it’ll take hours before anyone starts asking questions. New life, bring cash, get an apartment, better yet, a cottage behind someone’s house, keep a low profile, make up a new name, start over, begin again. Go. Write. Get off at the next exit. Where does your new life take you?”

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Outta here…

 

Outta here is a familiar road traveled

It’s been a run away that wasn’t always

Isn’t always about asphalt or some degraded

Back road lead by a compass to no-where-in particular

 

Outta here runs the emotional gambit

To an overwhelm that rises up and gasps

And grasps at the air for some leverage

How do you hold on to your breath and live?

 

Outta here leaves hurt hearts and confusion

A trip no one welcomes when the face of reality

Begs for clarity and a wonder of what wasn’t

Enough in the conversation that didn’t happen.

 

Outta here might allude to some sunny sky

And the wind catching in your hair just right

Or maybe the scenery makes no demands

Other than to consume it with your eyes

 

Outta here from where the starting place

Clawed for the ‘gotta get outta here right now’

With a slammed door or worse a silent exit

Has a short life of breeze and ease

 

Sooner or later the destination comes

And Outta Here is right here where you are

Where you’ve always been with yourself

And you didn’t get anywhere far or fast

 

Only a little while of false freedom

Cause you’re never free till your heart

Gives it truth and the Outta Here is

Always really about going In Here deep

 

Where you really wanted to go

And got all scared and worried

Imagining that the only way in was out

When the only way Outta here is In.

 

 

 

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Filed under ANN ARBOR, BE HERE NOW

WINTER’S COLD ARMS


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Winter pulls me into his cold arms

Rocks me down to my roots

Where the sap of me slows

And slows some more in the freeze

into a still quiet place moving

 

Sustainability holds to the early harvest

When Winter finds no green

Loving the austerity of blank and bare

Naked to the lie the Sun tells in this season

 

The need to tend to a warm light

comes from the inside out in this

Winter’s cradle of bitter chill

In the rocking back and forth

 

A slow sway to shimmer the glow

While Winter has his season

And the best is to have gathered enough

food and light to make it through

 

 

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18/01/2014 · 9:13 am

Winter silence… haiku


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Flakes fall soft in breeze

Slow to find a place to rest

Winter loves his chill

 

Winter loves his chill

Let’s the Sun give His deceit

Blue and gloom collide

 

Blue and gloom collide

Chasing each other in season

Sharing the same sky

 

Sharing the same sky

Winter needs his gloom and blue

Keeps to silent rest

 

Keeps to silent rest

Deep in Earth renewal waits

Flakes fall soft in breeze

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Filed under ANN ARBOR, full moon, HAIKU, michigan, NATURE, WINTER.