FOOLING HERSELF.

day 1 NaPoWriMo

~~~

She wasn’t much for the silly.

There was no pun in her to mention.

A laugh required an awkward moment,

    maybe even a fumbled narrative about

    the courtship of humans in that messiness

    of figuring the ‘Other’ out.

~

That seemed silly to her, all that figuring

    it out, all that otherness, all that fumbling

    around for connection in the pet and grind.

The getting to know you in the stumble of

    words, lingering stares, lips that desire.

She figured that was pretty silly.

~

She figured there was no giggle in any of that

    in her stuttered awkwardness

Her hands twined around her loneliness

Wishing the yearning would dissolve

   out of her heart’s hungry want.

Where was the silly in any of that?

~

She tried to look away

She tried to feel away

She tried to let invisibility

    be the friend it never had been

How ridiculous that would be

    to be seen now, to be in the messy

~

To let the foolishness of lonely,

   of desire, ravage at her singularity

Breaking the resolve that Love was

   a silly thing, a confusing thing, a

   fraught and chaotic thing.

She wasn’t that kind of Fool.

~

The kiss changed all that.