Category Archives: A Pilgrams Journey

Road Tripping


Traveling those blue highways those rural routes

of back roads, of byways weaving through

small town USA where life thrives in a

slow way if it thrives at all

With empty old shops surrounding

the local hardware and there’s

a café and gas station at the corner

~

Rosey’s Cafe printed across the window

neon light blinking “OPEN” calling me

come on in for lunch, not to forget that

breakfast is served all day everyday

Breakfast it is with the proper amount of grease

and grits, thick bacon and that toast

that is square, fat and slathered with butter

with a side of homemade strawberry jam.

~

Across the street, a thrift store with antiques

a passion for me, a junker’s paradise, a road

tripping pirated looking for bounty.

These shops can be hoarder full,

barely able to walk through

with mountains of rummage collected

hangered and stacked with some order that

defies the meaning of what order is

~

Somebody’s grandparent’s ancient old shit

an estate of family collectables unwanted

heirlooms broken to be fixed in the never will be

Generation of not letting go, now needing it to go.

Families don’t know what to do with what’s

left after the scramble and pawing through it

dumped now in these shops in the hope that

making a few dollars off of someone’s forgotten

 treasure is for a ’picker’ something to celebrate.

~

Not enough people pass through these

off-the-main-drag small rural communities

to buy the leftovers of old dead people

long gone with outdated uselessness

only worth the rummage to a true junker

A pirate of the byways seeking treasure

I hear the call. I stop for the joy in the hunt

following a garage sale sign

in the middle of Midwest nowhere

passing alfalfa fields with poor farmers eking

a living with a few cows and chickens and a big

gardening full of vegetables and flowers for some

local prosperity to keep the living pulse Ok enough

~

This sign aiming me onto a damn dirt road

where the grass grows down the center of it

and the rain puddle too deep I have to turn around

Should have turned left at that last cross-road

Should have let the grass be a sure sign of nowhere.

I should on myself yet again, only to arrive at

the best garage sale ever smelling the methane in the air

~

It’s good to know yourself as a compass traveling this way

or at least how to follow the sun cause that’s maybe

what you need to follow unless you decide

that sooner of later you’ll hit a main road

if you go far enough in one direction or another

That’s iffy and then again. hell you’re on a road trip

taking the blue highways where ever looking for stuff

stopping when you like, sleeping at JoJo’s motel

just on the edge of that town you passed through

a few miles back deciding it was time to make it a day.

Turning around cause you’re pretty sure there’s not

much you’ll come across any time soon on C32

~

Sitting at the café’ counter connected to JoJo’s,

my appetite worked up for all the seeking of treasure

and the miles of driving and stopping

ordering the meatloaf with mash potatoes, gravy

and boiled carrots with maple butter dripping on them

striking up a conversation with a woman named Peggy

with her over bleached permed hair, too tight jeans,

a hot pink tank top showing every curve she wants you to linger on

She wonders why a woman like me, in my jeans,

my black peace sign tee shirt, rings on every finger

and my ratty old Birkenstocks that serve me well

is alone without a man on road trip like this

Isn’t that dangerous? Wasn’t I scared?

Why would I ever travel alone?   

She couldn’t image it.

I ask her who does her hair.

~

~

jeanne adwani. @copyright

~

~

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Lost in LaLa Land


LOST IN LaLa LAND,  A Hollywood memoir 1978’

~~

Sunset Strip lay raw and naked in the early hours

Hollywood had had a bite of my soul in the dark night

Such a quiet unseen brutal take of self-given willingly

Overtaken by the false comfort of drugs and booze

~

The pickup of idle chat moved to hungry lust imbibing

A perfect storm of Ferrari, and handsome bundled up

Danger hung in dripping stalactites over the bed

Yet unruffled as we sat on its edges before the long fall

~

 Carelessly, in Mr. GoodBar style, hunting dark mysteries

Swallowing the soft kiss deeper into my body waking

The edge ever so close for the wild jump risk of life

The tilt of the room, the wonder on his beautiful face

~

The roll of my inner storm, clouds bursting in torrent rain

Every tear that had been unshed flooded the room

Every want and wound soaked the walls, pooled the bed

Drowning was the best way to go as the vortex pull me under

~

Memory has no straight line, no sureness to how tenderness

Found the moment in the gentle arms of a stranger’s hold

Petted like a lost child found with comforting words of

“You’ll be already, You’ll be OK.”  in repeat kindness

~

Sunset Strip lay raw and naked before me as I walked it

Finding my way to my car alone unaided by my request

He gifted me with a gentleness I took to be time now

Soul healing needed a body temple safe and free.

~

I packed the VW bus with my life quaking like this land

Filled it with myself and the surrender to find myself

Taking my salty tears to the ocean to be swallowed by the tides

Barefoot in the sand the land heals the soul of me

~. jeanne adwani. copyrights

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FEELING



Feeling the mycelium beneath my feet
A woven tapestry of nurturance 
A vast cooperation of life in Oneness

Feeling the giant maple whisper her rooted
story to her beloveds for as One 
We thrive in the net-work of living

Feeling the air skim my flesh in the
Invisible gift of each breath offered
Clarity of purpose uninterrupted

Feeling the tears rise for the spilling
A salty sea of remembrance to be shed
For All that need to grieve in surrender

Feeling this vastness of Connection
Of how I am all that and none of it. 
The Earth of me
The Heart of me
The Breath of me
The Bright Spirit of me

Feeling it all to know it All
Being it all to live it all
Breathing it all in for the sake
Of Knowing the Deep gift 
of this simple
Truth

copyright.  jeanne adwani

  

 

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In the Sense of Being EveryWhere


This is inspired by the NaPoWriMo prompt of.  ‘Where are you from’  day 10

~

into the Infinite

There is a sense of Everywhere in me

That Infinity has me and I am all That

The complete mystery of what that means

to be of stars and galaxies

to be of nebula and unmeasured

vastness

~

The dead darkness of nothingness

 and the blinding sparkle of starlight 

 within eternal spirals of MilkWays 

 beyond my smallness, the hardly-a- 

 speck of me in the EveryWhere 

~

And yet, Infinity has all of me

here on this rotating blue green planet

nestle in an orbital path around one

grand and yet very small Sun

holding my temporal body hostage

~

To gravitational pull and assured 

body death as I live held here in the

choice of communing with others

that has distant remembrance

of the electric Blue entity of my Soul

that has made a short respite on Earth

~

To live to know love and tenderness

To die to the release, 

to again find freedom 

in the Everywhere 

of Everything 

and Nothingness.  

~

Souls travel to know this voluminesences

This magnificence of such a Mystery

of the One Heart unfolding into every 

boundless other heart, remembering

the quintessential vibration of Oneness

~~

~ cc jeanne Adwani

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To Mary Oliver


FSCN0693

 

WORDS

The wind and trees

Stones, and rivers.

A silent path through

woods and meadow green

Snow speaking to your

tongue

~

Words gathered on that breeze,

In the whisper of the river over rock

In the song of the birds

  on the oak and pine

On the snowflakes yearning

~

They gathered in, the

cumulous clouds

On the burst of Spring rain

In the fickle want of

nature’s gathering

~

They  found you,

open and willing

A creature tuned in to

How a fence knows a crow

How leaves know their autumn’

How a coat wears the wind

How a murmur rides a wave

How moss invites nakedness

~

Words found you

In roots and crust of bark

In the swirl of grass caught

with the wind

On the tongue of the butterfly

In the coupling of Sun to Earth

In the face of the shimmering Moon

~

There was no where Mother Nature

   did not hold you as a sacred being

Held in her loving caress

You honored the gifts and rages of

Her giving.

She told you everything

Held back nothing

She cradled you in her arms chanting

And you spoke her wisdom

~

Thank you Mary Oliver.

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THE NARROWS


PACIFIC NORTHWEST 083

Skookumchuck Narrows before the tide came in on a full moon night

PACIFIC NORTHWEST 2 024

SKOOKUMCHUCK NARROWS, BC.   2005  The tide came in.

~

I take the Narrow’s tempestuousness slit

My boat lost to a long ago of well being

The full moon calls the Sea to give rise to the tide

She pulls its out to bring it in

What comes  in greets what is going out

a violent swirl, a vortex of pull and funneled force

A ride like wild mustangs in a fevered run

Holding on as if life means everything

And everything means nothing

but to ride out the tide

~

I take the Narrows on this full moon night

For want to imagine this journey of all journeys

Will gather  me in under the luminous night orb

Drown me to make me wholy and awakened

to rise out of the depths of my ending

Washed clean. left naked, pulling in air

before my lungs explode in defeat

Dreaming of the gills that let me swim

before this time of living knew that limitation.

~

I took the Narrows to an ending

Finding the breath of a new beginning

Waiting for the next unfolding.

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FRIENDS WITH YOUR DEVIL


DSCN0028

Devils sleep in your dream bed

They mostly abide in Story’s head

Around and around the tale does go

When they tempt and tease at life’s flow

Avoid the under tow

~

Waking, you wonder the truth of it all

These dreams of said devils, an angel’s fall

Once pure and white, at heaven’s pearly gate

To Hades tis said you go in flames and wait

You can break that date

~

Depends where beliefs fill your minds

Depends where fear holds and abides

Depends if these devils have a hold on you

Peel fear away and you get to choose

Don’t be misused

~

There is no telling you what to believe

When we all want to live, love, and receive

Seven Billion strong on a floating orb

Where power and greed hunger for more

Have love at your core

~

“Devil be gone” a cry from within

You believe you deserve punishment for sin

Love has not left you, you are Spirit’s child

Awaken to Love you are not exiled

Sit with peace awhile

~

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They Come to Celebrate You.


day 17… NaPoWriMo

Ace of Cup.

Wholy Grail.

They come to celebrate you for your deliverance

That way you gave into your courage without pause

How life’s fire tried to burn you up and take your soul

While you pushed it all back at them in a tidal wave

~

That way you gave into your courage without pause

Healthy rage finds a way to make a riveting decision

While you pushed it all back at them in a tidal wave

A Tsunami of choices that rolled crossed all that wicked

~

Healthy rage finds a way to make a riveting decision

In that cliche of “If not now when, and if not you who?”

A tsunami of choices that rolled crossed all that wicked

You are a human shield of Will and profound goodness

~

In that cliche of “if not now, when, and if not you, who?”

We needed you and didn’t even know it till there you were

You are a human shield of Will and profound goodness

Not torn with the decision of will I, or should I, or dare I?

~

We needed you and didn’t even know it till there you were

Full on real, fearless, modeling the way a revolution gets going

Not torn with the decision of will I, or should I, or dare I?

The nature of you fights with the wisdom of love

~

Full on real, fearless, modeling the way a revolution gets going

How life’s fire tried to burn you up and take your soul

The nature of you fights with the wisdom of Love

They come to celebrate you for your deliverance.

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MAKING SENSE OF THE SENSELESS a pantoum


the hokeypokey

It’s what’s ALL about

There is no making sense of the senseless

There is no taking away from whose deciding

It’s that observation each makes on their own

And sometimes, you have no sense when you think you do

~

There is no taking away from whose deciding

Some abstract convulsion penetrates filters and boundaries

And Sometime, you have no sense when you think you do

That doesn’t omit that some miracle might flutter your brain into order

~

Some abstract convulsion penetrates filters and boundaries

Conversation in steady flow doesn’t like to jump over omissions

That doesn’t omit that some miracle might flutter your brain into order

Optimism does spring eternal for those that wander the path of Joy

~

Conversation in steady flow doesn’t like to jump over omissions

Mostly, we want to say and hear some exactitude of what needs saying

Optimism does spring eternal for those that wander the path of Joy

That might not make any sense either depending on whose wandering

~

Mostly, we want to say and hear some exactitude of what needs saying

It’s that observation each makes on their own

That might not make any sense either depending on how wandering

There is no making sense of the senseless.

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Birthday… a pantoum


My new year turns again with the Sun return.  I return here to share again .   Thanks for reading.

2015-11-21 18.23.06-2

They come with the speed of light in the getting older

That day that celebrates a full turn around the Sun

When all the planets align in some celestial order

And one more year checks itself into your body

~

That day that celebrates a full turn around the Sun

Time as it is understood in Earth’s gravity language

And one more year checks itself into your body

And the waiting of how the end will come to find you

~

Time as it is understood in the Earth’s gravity language

Makes no real difference in how the years will etch into you

And the waiting of how the end will come to find you

Breathing holds us all in the box of living

~

Makes no real difference in how the years will etch into you

When all the planets align in some celestial order

Breathing holds us all in the box of living

They come with the speed of light in the getting older

~

All work here is Copy write.   Please ask to share ..

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