Category Archives: AGING

In Salutation


me n' my shadow

me n’ my shadow

In salutation

An all hail wide open

A colourful unfolding to

the the wake up call, breathing

Being licked by the sun

and breeze.

Shivering to the gather

of grey soon to come

.

In salutation

An all hail wide open

to the moist refresh

toes tickle naked

on wet grass dancing

The body heaves a welcome

.

In salutation

An all hail wide open

So wide the earth pivots

a pirouette in polar shift

Of Northern to Southern

exposure calling in east and west

And you breathing It all in

like that first startle of wonder

When the myth of life tagged you

.

In salutation

In an all hail wide open

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Filed under AGING, APRIL FOOL, MAGICAL THINKING, michigan, national poetry month, SPIRITUAL, SPRING

writing for 45 minutes, 4 Feb 2015 A GIANT RAMBLe AbOuT aging.


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This is a bleary picture of me at my 67th birthday.  Bleary is good.  LOL.

Ok… here it goes.  this is what happens in 45 minutes when I sit to write.  little if no editing.

8:37

There is an age you reach where the thought of how many years you have left to live is something you decided you’re not going to consider.  There isn’t half as much left anymore.  Maybe not even a third as much.

Middle age has passed, even the “new middle age” has passed.  ( Who determined that anyway?) and the hope for a new middle age, if we live to 150, is unlikely.

How many years have ya left  if you’re over 60 and counting?  That’s right people over 60, not so many.  AND, it’s a good idea to get good with that, and not calculate to often out into the not-so-far decade away or so, cause that can roll you over on your back like bad dog and make you feel all kinds of vulnerable.

And, how about how time is going REALLY fast.  Wasn’t it just Christmas last week?  Is it only 6 weeks till Spring? Thank God for that.  It will be Spring tomorrow and you’ll wonder, “Didn’t winter fly by?”

I’m a Hairdresser/Artist. I look in a mirror all day long at you and me, watching myself and you age.  And… I’m going to work till my hands can’t move and I’m cutting myself more than your hair.  I know that sounds scary and grim.  And we both know that’s not gonna happen like that, right?

And, how can I imagine retirement?  I am not one that has embraced the journey of retirement in those traditional ways: saving, gathering, etc. etc.  I live to the full extent of my existence in the moment; saving little and celebrating  life moments as they present themselves.  Really, it’s all a gamble, and I have been called to the gamble of BE HERE NOW. (Thanks Ram Das)

When I get off the train of ‘Now’, a little bit of terror creeps in.  I hate terror.  Who likes it?  NO One.  That terror involves questions and sentences like this running through my head…

“What are you thinking? You have no retirement, no real extra cash, no children to buffer you, (I never wanted children, so that one isn’t really relevant).   You live by the seat of your pants and you’re getting old.  Your knees hurt, you got stuff that you can’t identify that comes and goes.  WHAT the fuck are you thinking you old geezer girl?  You’re gonna have to just drop dead one of these days and hope it doesn’t hurt too much and there is no lingering.  And that no one will have to coddle and fawn all over your dying pathetic body for too damn long.”

I let myself have these’s projections.  They happen more than I like to have them happen.  Then I look around as all that I have that I am grateful for, and let those pleasures and joys fill me up and push away the fear.  Future stuff has yet to happen and why linger there?  I have no idea.  Do YOU?  What good is it to fall prey to what we thing is going to happen as opposed to what is happening right now?  How can we make that good? WE have the power to change our attitude right now.

None of us get outta here alive in the physical sense of things for sure.  My spiritual path says I am an Infinite Being and Love is all there is. (Me and the Beatles are tight)   With that said, I’m having some trouble with this aging thing.  I do not wish to linger in the negative zones of that ‘thing’ as it creeps in to smother my good humor and well being.

Don’t think for one minute I am above having a good ol’ face lift.  It’s a respectable thing to do.  And we have the science and the Way to get looking younger, like how we feel inside.  I feel 30.  I do!  How about you?  And that face in my mirror is not a face of a 30 year old. NO it isn’t.  Graceful.  Nice one.  Gracefully aging.  I’m trying.  I am, I mean it.  And if I had the money to spare, I’d get a little nip n’ tuck.  I hope you still honor and respect me for these wants of mine.

My 45 minutes is almost up.  Thanks for listening.  You are kind.  Now you know a little more about me and how getting old sucks on some levels and is wondrous on others.

Here are the wonders.

I know a lot of shit.  And I have lots of wisdom

I’m still highly creative

I believe in magic.  I always have

I love my friends and family

I know I am loved deeply.

I am still learning things everyday

I love life

I think the Seasons are glorious even when I complain of too cold or too hot

The Earth is magical

I am a Mystery unfolding

I love feeling 30 inside this 67 year old body.

There is fabulousness in living in the moment.

I close with giving you a Haiku

~~~~~~~

Bringing in my Breath

Wonder and magic fills me

Dancing on the edge

9:22am

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Filed under AGING, BE HERE NOW, BIRTH. LIFE. DEATH, EYES WIDE OPEN, HAIKU, HEALTH AND WELLBEING, MAGICAL THINKING, WINTER.

honesty … a pantoum.


 

GERMANY 134Looking for the best of my honesty

The kind that gives the deeper truth

Sometimes it lays hidden in shallow breathes

Caught there in the fear of all that exposure

 

The kind that gives the deeper truth

Riding the surfaces like a stone skipped across water

Caught there in the fear of all that exposure

Feeling the drown come on in the sinking

 

Riding the surfaces like a stone skipped across water

I count how many skips it  takes before the truth

Feeling the drown come on in the sinking

How long can you tread the rapids

 

I count how many skips it takes before the truth

It’s not like living in a liars den of shame

How long can you tread the rapids

It’s never very far from the shore’s safety

 

It’s not like living in a liars den of shame

The best self hungers to be seen

It’s never very far from the shores safety

Once revealed in the light of truth

 

The best self hungers to be seen

Sometimes it lays hidden in the shallow breathes

Once revealed in the light of truth

Looking for the best of my honesty

 

 

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Spaciousness and being a birthday girl


Eegads… One more day, dang, less than 24hours, double dang, and I will embrace a new year of living on this planet.  Birthdays come ever so quickly as age settles in… don’t they?

I look in the mirror and see the me that I have become visually, with my shorter white hair coiffed in a tousle made in a semi-deliberate fashion, with the occasionally wisp of purple or pink or maybe blue in that tease of curl at my forehead.

Behind my ‘trendy’ framed glasses, my once vivid dark brown eyes have a soft cool halos of cloud circling them.   A wrinkle fest has slowly developed around those eyes that still hold a spark of clever in them.   I can see them and thank the Goddess for the wit that still flames out from them.

 

IMG_2765There’s flaws and spots that have found scattered permanence on my face.  I celebrate the wonder of a good foundation to soften and even my skin tone.

The lips have yet to have those vertical wrinkles typical of being over 60.  AND, When I lift those lips in a smile my best feature sparkles out.  My smile, it’s a good one.  A gift really.  Good teeth and a little something’ something’.  It has been complimented on by hundreds of people and I Am Grateful.  It holds itself proud and I like to share it often.

The days of the good horizontal now tend to embrace the pull of the vertical gravity.  Damn it.

Not too many horizontal wrinkles on the forehead, that’s good.

Dare I go just below the chin?  Damn it.  Shit.  Looky there will ya.  That’s where the nature of my face slides to.  It’s all I can do not to give a gobble gobble gobble and cluck to the way my flesh gives a prominent sag and jiggle. A droopy chunk of fat flesh… It’s all I can see when I have a bad day.  It’s all I can see and I want it gone.   And there it is.  It’s all I can see.

I’m not even going to go below my tits and say a word about that.  You don’t want to hear any of that.

With that said, I choose to not let gravity pull at my visuals endlessly, to drag my illusive stories about what is and isn’t in to being.  I get to choose the story I have about how I look, feel, experience my world.  I GET TO ChOOSE.  Thank God.  Really, cause to forget that I get to make up another story about it all would pull me into some dark hell, and leave me victim to all that negative  self-talk about my poor sagging ass and that frickin’ sorry looking flap of flesh below my chin.    That  Is NOt how my Truth seeks it’s Heaven.   Heck, I’m a story teller, let me make it a good one.

The best of me is in the unseen.  I like to think that’s where everyone’s best  is nestled.  The deeper self beyond the physical facade of our bodies that gives a certain surface story.   Never the full story.  A full story comes with getting to know me, you, anyone.  Beyond all the wrinkles, the belly rolls, the little fade of the eyes, the crimp of the flesh, the sag of the breast, the veins in the legs.  Beyond all that surface stuff that youth and age give tale to.

My best self tries to  embrace  the journey of life, in the predictability of how age takes it’s toll on the body.

Best to not worry about the next 20/30 years cause there’s the luck of having that much time let in the breathing.  No knowing that.

It’s Happy Birthday time and there is struggle in seeing that face in the mirror fading.  Turn that noise down so I can hear ‘My best self’ remind me I am ageless and perfect as I am.  I am the best of what I am right now.  I will forever in some way or another vibrate out there in the Infinite Universe with or without a body.  It’s what energy does; changes form.

It’s Happy Birthday to me and I’m good right now.  Full of gratitude for my family and friends, my work, my creativity.

I’ve decided the word for ‘my New Year’ is spaciousness.  Ridding myself of what doesn’t serve my life, inhibits my life, fills up too much of my life so there is Spaciousness in my breath, in my movement, in my inhabiting this body.    Big Breath… Exhale.  AGAin.

Spaciousness.  that’s what I will be about this year.

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under AGING, BE HERE NOW, JOY, MAGICAL THINKING

‘I’m the youngest I’ll ever be’… a pantoum.


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I’m the youngest I’ll ever be right now

Youth had its way with all my parts

I’ve parted with those days for these

So many moments brought me here

 

Youth had its way with all my parts

It was quite a party for decades

So many moments brought me here

The embrace holds acceptance in the mirror

 

It was quite a party for decades

East and West and all that in-between

The embrace holds acceptance in the mirror

Still a smile and a twinkle in the old eyes

 

East and West and all that in-between

I’ve parted with those days for these

Still a smile and a twinkle in the old eyes

I’m the youngest I’ll ever be right now.

 

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Filed under AGING, ASCENSION, BE HERE NOW, HEALTH AND WELLBEING, MAGICAL THINKING, PEACE, SPIRITUAL, WINTER.

From the Pacific to the Great Lakes


jeannes little books 126

Serendipity finds the touch ancient familiar

Even in the not having made skin to skin

The familiar holds the magi’s stone vibrating

A long ago gives call to natures rising touch

 

There is no matter in how it goes or doesn’t

Way past that portal in the Awakening soul

There is a beyond yet seen by this mortal

For Earth’s call to life holds that mystery

 

And in the still of wondering of your vast Pacific

The shore that tides your here and now

The fresh lakes wrap around my mitten

Where the seasons beach upon my shores

 

Maybe touch will find us in the winter of our years

Or hold us up to the Light’s fantastic radiance

In the meet again of what we have always known

Holy is the wholeness or our wander here

 

Destiny lurks between our shores

 

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Filed under AGING, ANN ARBOR, BE HERE NOW, GRATITUDE, home, LOVE, michigan

gratitude haiku… loving puppydorje


DOG HALLOWEEN 50 003

Decision is made

I will breathe in your last breath

Forever cherished

Heart is heavy love

Goodbye till we meet again

Sacred I hold you

starlight, starlight bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, I will look to the heavens for your sacred light tomorrow night.

yours

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Filed under AGING, BE HERE NOW, BIRTH. LIFE. DEATH, EYES WIDE OPEN, GRATITUDE, HAIKU, LOVE