Category Archives: GARAGE SALE

HoArDeR


day 11… napowrimo

 

hoarding-1

 

She thought she had everything

In the stacks and piles of discard

Layers of useless held to the heart

Safer to put love on things than

to let heartbreak have it’s darkness

 

It was passed a maze with any ending

Hardly a beginning from outside in

The heap of never being thrown away

made no way out of the only way in

 

The stench was to her a sweetness

Born of loss and grief deserved

by decades of never being enough in the

powerlessness of a self with nothing left

 

Letting go might mean emptiness

and the gathered mountain filled her up

The climb was arduous and dangerous

The Keeping it all was worth it

 

A cocoon of trash buried it all

A sure death of filth and feces

Beyond the embarrassed in a mind

that gives the senses overwhelm in the shutdown

 

No telling the lonely despair hidden

beyond the chaos in the confused stare that

rejects the letting go with vehemence and vitriol

Crushed beneath all that is vile and rejected

 

What is known is that despair layer deep

like the collection of useless refuge shoulder high

held to a sliver of space to wallow the self hate

in the putrefaction of what is felt deserved

 

She hoards. It is the only way to feel safe in

an unsafe world.  Chaos is her friend.

Melting her last bit of self esteem bagged

with her shit in the corner of the bathroom

 

 

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Houghton, Michigan… souvenir… haibun


there is so much good

Enjoying a day of garage sale-ing about town a couple of weeks ago; I filed through this box of old postcards and misc. ephemera.  I found this (1903) leather, wood-burned and painted ‘postcard’ souvenir, from way up north in the UP.   The guy at the sale said he figured it was his grandfathers, cause that box was old family miscellaneous stuff.  He also said, he wished he’d paid attention to what was in the box cause he really liked the saying on the card and wished he’d kept it.  (**NOTE… Originally I said this was from the maybe the 50’s/60’s.  There an old one cent stamp on the back of Ben Franklin.  That stamp is from 1903.  WOW.  cool huh)

Tho’ I wanted it, I offered it back to him.  He declined, and said it was meant for me and to give him a dollar for it.

It touched me with its message and reminded me that I am a little bit of All-that-is, with all the goodness and graciousness of Being,  sprinkled with periodic crankiness ,with an edge of distain every now n’ again.  And, that when I witness all the variables of people, and the vast array of personalities in my life and those that filter past me in my days; that I am of the ‘same clothe’ in certain sort of way.  I am part of this Oneness that they are a part of.  I don’t have to like the flow or constraint of another.  I don’t have to engage with any negativity.  I get to choose and feed the life I desire.

When I notice the goodness and grace of others to be reminded of my own goodness and grace.  And when I witness the disturbed, ugliness of other, that within me lurks some piece of that too.  Again, I get to choose, my way of Being in my moments, and realize that living in a world of Duality and polarity, It’s all a dance of Light and Dark and many colours in the in-between.  I’m fond of that Rainbow Bridge.

So many stories get made up about what we imagine something is or isn’t in the context of our feelings and observation of a moment.  And really… I know I haven’t a clue of that ‘truth’ of what I see, and feel outside of myself , till I ask, or I decide to let it go.  It might be wise to shut-up about it cause it IS false perception and likely my rambling idle gossip elaborating.

Heed the Light and Dark

Truth is a colourful trickster

Know your own story

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