Tag Archives: letting go

A REMEMBRANCE


I had no good byes for you just your name on my altar
Our reckoning happened long ago with so much pain
It was a hard forgiveness in the way-back-then
That came easy once my heart gave to that spaciousness
And compassion paid my soul a visit asking for everything
There could be nothing less than that full surrender 
Nothing less that a complete turn to Love no matter what

I leaned fully into those tender arms of absolution
Betraying expectations desire to have to have it returned
To have to make an equal exchange of emotional fairness
Covered with all  Sunny sparkle and pop-up love emojis 
I did it for me on behalf of a deeper love that rose
in the giving, in the let go, in the instant of full clarity

Like the Sun came and burned my insides clean of that hurt
An unexpected Phoenix rising from the death of a long ago
Child wound dissolving away in the ocean of my heart
That vastness makes me quake and wonder of this truth
Beating gently in the center of my chest, a steady pulse 
A'Yes' set free in the never have to go around again

I will alway remember you.  You were my first paradox  
Rest in peace

 copyright. jeanne adwani

 

			

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Filed under DEATH AND LOSS, NAPOWRIMO, national poetry month

‘Outta Here’ prompt #1


I joined a little group for 27 days of prompts.  This is the first prompt (in green) .  The poem below it is where it all took me.  It isn’t where I thought it would go and I let be.

“  Outta Here…

You know that feeling when you’re driving and you realize, My god, if I keep going, if I pass my own exit, I’ll be in Mexico by morning. They won’t even know I’m gone – it’ll take hours before anyone starts asking questions. New life, bring cash, get an apartment, better yet, a cottage behind someone’s house, keep a low profile, make up a new name, start over, begin again. Go. Write. Get off at the next exit. Where does your new life take you?”

DSCN0107

Outta here…

 

Outta here is a familiar road traveled

It’s been a run away that wasn’t always

Isn’t always about asphalt or some degraded

Back road lead by a compass to no-where-in particular

 

Outta here runs the emotional gambit

To an overwhelm that rises up and gasps

And grasps at the air for some leverage

How do you hold on to your breath and live?

 

Outta here leaves hurt hearts and confusion

A trip no one welcomes when the face of reality

Begs for clarity and a wonder of what wasn’t

Enough in the conversation that didn’t happen.

 

Outta here might allude to some sunny sky

And the wind catching in your hair just right

Or maybe the scenery makes no demands

Other than to consume it with your eyes

 

Outta here from where the starting place

Clawed for the ‘gotta get outta here right now’

With a slammed door or worse a silent exit

Has a short life of breeze and ease

 

Sooner or later the destination comes

And Outta Here is right here where you are

Where you’ve always been with yourself

And you didn’t get anywhere far or fast

 

Only a little while of false freedom

Cause you’re never free till your heart

Gives it truth and the Outta Here is

Always really about going In Here deep

 

Where you really wanted to go

And got all scared and worried

Imagining that the only way in was out

When the only way Outta here is In.

 

 

 

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Filed under ANN ARBOR, BE HERE NOW